I'm Not Going to Your Baby Shower Vine

• Swim Jitney From Hell:
  • "Stop HAVING INTERCOURSE, PLEASE."
  • "MARCY, YOUR FATHER DIED A Week Ago, Go OVER IT."
  • "I WILL GUT Y'all FROM ARMPIT TO ASSHOLE."
  • *barely singing* "Before you trick-or-treaty, exist sure you become 'pee-pee', 'cause urinary track infections are a little creepy. Out past dark on Halloween? An Amber Alert is on my screen. Instead of looking at that porn, you could have some candy corn. Delight don't steal that candy pail, no trick-or-treat in county jail. Trick-or-treat with an developed, if you get raped information technology'due south all their mistake."
  • "I asked my doctor 'Is it normal for the male cats to lactate?' Turns out I was playing with its penis."
  • "NANCY, I'D Like MY BINDER Back, Delight!" *gets hitting in the face with binder* "MY Sister FUCKED YOUR Bedridden Husband."
  • "I KNOW YOU'RE NOT DROWNING!"
  • "Why is there a prophylactic on the dummy's mouth?"
  • "How'd you lot kids get this much cum in the infant?"
• Hall Monitor Helen:
  • "Three years agone, my husband went out one dark for a beer, but that beer was all the way in Tennessee and had much bigger tits."
  • "Principal Morris! Ane of the second graders is on fire and I don't call up he's going to make information technology this time!"
  • "THIS IS A Place OF SILENCE!"
  • *looking at obscene drawing of herself surrounded by penises* "Oh, don't express joy, Diane, this is a proficient night for me."
  • "You know what happens to little girls who vesture shorts that curt? A white van picks 'em up and they get all their holes resized. Non you, Melissa, you lot're never getting molested."
  • "Yous wanna become what? A doctor? I wanted to become a ballerina, and y'all know what I became? HIV positive."
  • *looking at drawing* "I'yard not sure why this is nonetheless hanging up here. She's expressionless now."
  • "Aye, I do a lot of drugs!"
• Granddaddy Hates Valentimes:
  • "I don't desire no damn flowers. 'Cause I'1000 allergic. You want me to laissez passer?"
  • "I don't want this anymore." *violently shoves bundle into nearby shelf*
  • "Last week I got mugged past a god-damn ballerina. She tried to make me pass away, then the bitch spun away."
  • *looking at Walmart logo* "Await at that, the logo is what? An asshole!"
  • "Put that candy back, I'chiliad not buying y'all all that mess." *throws candy at Granddad* "Endeavour me, bitch."
  • "All these trees stealin' my oxygen..."
  • "I need a pharmacist!"
  • "Stop trying to give me damn flowers. You lot know I'm allergic, you want me to meet Jesus?"
  • "These damn flowers? You can stick these flowers yous know where, asshole!" *faceplants into flower bed*
• Grandpa HATES Halloween!
  • "I would similar to speak to that pharmacist, please. I drank some bleach all the fashion down to the blue, and now I'm startin' to feel like Harry Potters. Well, it tasted like candy to me."
  • "Oh, what are you supposed to be, a disappointment?"
  • *Looking at Disney Princess mirror* "Have y'all seen this app? It shows yous what you're gonna look like when you get former and fucked-upward."
  • "Put that candy back, I'grand not buying you shit!" *throws candy at Grandpa* "Oh! Fuck me right in the asshole!"
  • "I don't want this anymore."
  • "Male child, pull up your god-damn pants! The spookiest thing in this shop is that a dick that pocket-size is in my gene pool!"
• Aroused Part:
  • "Fuck off, Janet! I'm not going to your fucking baby shower!"
  • "And I was getting a little tired of being called 'Curry in a Bustle'".
  • *Tosses papers to banana* "Do it, hetero!"
  • "I'm making copies. Move, I'm gay!"
  • "The lotion is for your hands and confront! I can hear information technology from my office!"
• Grandpa HATES Disneyland!
  • "Male child, pull upward your god-damn pants! I can encounter Pinocchio and he is telling the truth!"
  • *Mickey Mouse hat* "The hell am I supposed to do with this? I can't shove this up my ass!"
  • "Ohh, that was my terminal Pamper." *human being behind him turns effectually, confused*
  • "What'd I tell you about the candyyy? This sweetie gon' give y'all diabeetie! No!"
  • *lightsabers* "They're selling dildos to kids!" "Don't look at the dildos!"
  • When granddaddy shoves a lot of processed in his rima oris, the adult female behind him gives him this ◊ await*
  • *the grandson goes to the bath, and his poop falls on the floor* "Goddamnit, boy, how did you miss the bowl? Don't worry, I got this." *kicks the turd to the next stall, cue kid screaming in terror*
  • From the outtakes: "Gag Manufacturing plant? That's what I used to call your grandmammy!"
• The Nuclear Family:
  • "I can't stop eating my fingers."
  • Daniel kicking his sister.
  • "See how I was ready for that?!"
  • "You have no idea how hard it is to say 'finish' with a dick in your oral cavity."
• Sam's Not Having It!
  • "How you lot become this coffee to taste like monkey piss?" "I used your panties equally a goddamn filter!"
  • Donna having an aroused reaction to her shotgun. Sam merely replies: "Every Dominicus."
  • Donna knocking over Sam's card house: "The only thing y'all're hurting are mah feelings!"
  • "I collect salmon!"
• Fashion Is Blind
  • "I may not take eyesight, but I have vision!"
  • The fashion crew trolling Jurgen (asking to be exposed to different light colors) past choosing the wrong ones.
  • Jurgen's fashion drawings, which are, predictably, indecipherable scribbles.
  • Jurgen'southward "blackness girlfriend" and subsequent incorrect face readings.
  • "Chase me!" *runs into a pile of boxes and collapses* "Information technology's not funny anymore!"
• Normal British People
  • "Darling, are you in the study?" "Yes darling, I'm having my foreskin reattached!"
• Elmer'south backstory in "Stuff and Sam". He tells a very dramatic and sad tale about his life and origins...then the camera pans to Sam and Donna, who thought it was as well boring and started playing a board game in the corner of the room. Elmer's deadpan tone never changing makes the scene.

  "Guys, come on, you wanted me to tell yous a story, and I'm telling you."

• Theater Grade
  • In season 2, almost every fourth dimension Mr. Rimmer makes a snide remark about Karen, Linda, or Kaden.
  • The Halloween episode where a hobo Jamie paid to exist his costume dies and the class works together to go rid of the body:

  Mr. Rimmer: You lot know this year'south Halloween party was and then slap-up, I am debating having yous throw next year's besides.

  Donna: Really?

  Mr. Rimmer: Of form not. Someone died, you stupid bitch. I am willing to permit Karen throw next year'south party, that'south how bad it was.

• A Mean solar day at the Park:
  • "THIS SHOWER GONNA HAVE TO BE P.T.A.! Pits! Tits! Ass!"
  • "TELL ME WHERE MY SON IS RIGHT At present OR I'LL SUCK YOUR GODDAMN DICK!"
  • "Have you seen my son? He's most this alpine, clearly gay, but we haven't had the talk!"
  • The Stinger:

  Grandpa: Siri, I need you to find me a chemist.

  Siri: I have plant three doctors nearby.

  Grandpa: Bitch, I said a chemist!

  Siri: I have found seven drug dealers nearby.

  Grandfather: ...Alright.

  • "Nosotros'RE LEAVING IN NEGATIVE SIX MINUTES!"
  • "WHERE'S THE PARK RANGER!?!"
  • "I drink to forget, merely I always remember..."
  • Elmer meeting Grandpa:

  Elmer: Aren't these copse beautiful? They're the oldest known living beings in this park.

  (turns around and runs into Grandfather)

  Grandfather: Oopsie!

  Elmer: I was wrong.

  • Jürgen, afterwards Sam runs into his tent: "Help! I'm nether attack by a lesbian!"
  • The reveal that Gramps and Donna used to date:

  Granddaddy: This day can't go whatsoever goddamn worse! (bumps into Donna) Oh fuck, Donna!

  Donna: Well hullo, George.

  Grandpa: I oasis't seen y'all in over fifty years and yous still wait like a slut!

  Donna: Well I chosen y'all the other dark only you were bein' a little bowwow!

  Granddad: Nah, you didn't talk to me.

  Donna: And then who the hell did I talk to!?

  Flashback:

  Donna: (on the phone) Hello, yous old piece of shit!

  Dorian: (breaks downward crying)

  • Shortly later on that, nosotros get this:

  Grandpa: Tin can you help me observe my family?

  Donna: Well of class! (flirtatiously) And that can give u.s.a. a trivial time to take hold of upward!

• Beauty is Bullheaded
  • "I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN I LOST MY ACCENT!"
  • "Zis Gatorade is expired!" "Dude, that'due south barbicide." "I don't understand zat give-and-take und therefore it is meaningless."
• A 24-hour interval at the Park Reacts to A Day at the Park
  • The off-topic substitution between German Jürgen and the cameraman.

  Jürgen: Enquire me vhat comes after viii.

  Cameraman: What comes later eig—

  Jürgen: NEIN!

  • Jürgen thinking he'due south at home and subsequently stripping down. It'south funny on its own, only it as well leads to this:

  Jürgen: Zis is just sound, ve're not doing any video of zis, correct?

  Cameraman: We're filming everything.

  Jürgen: (seductively) You lot monsters...

  • "I love the Marvel Universe."
  • "That was a baby she simply dropped."
    • Elmer'south deadpan tone while proverb this line makes it all the better.
  • "I remember her, she stole my semen from me. And guess what? I allow her exercise it, too."
  • "Await at that vampire!"
  • " Then you're telling me this detest crime got 31 meg views?"
• Normal Western Movie:
  • "I need that Jesus dick!"
• Used Adult Toy Commercial
  • How does Luxy Leroy go his "merchandise"? By dumpster diving as well as wearing a sign that literally says "THROW DILDOS @ ME" while outside.
  • "Are you gay? Good! I've got more dick rings than Sonic the Hedgehog!"

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Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/BrandonRogers

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